


The Best Job in the Federation

by Elf (Elfwreck)



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Employment, Gen, Meta, Nonfiction, Originally posted at Dreamwidth, The Federation, Tongue-in-cheek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-04-04
Updated: 2008-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:34:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23151046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elfwreck/pseuds/Elf
Summary: So... who were the really powerful people in the Federation? The ones who had the most influence, of course.
Collections: March Meta Matters Challenge





	The Best Job in the Federation

In response to this week's [](http://www.insanejournal.com/users/metametameta/profile)[**metametameta**](http://www.insanejournal.com/users/metametameta/) [prompt about jobs in canon](http://asylums.insanejournal.com/metametameta/3212.html) (or rather, the prompt was probably inspired by this thought that's been bouncing around in my head for a while).

I want to talk about canon. About what used to be THE canon, back when the word "fandom" meant one thing and all fen knew what that was. (Not to say that there weren't other fandoms--but they weren't called that.) (Please, no wank about what was and wasn't "fandom." I'm using artistic hyperbole. Ignore the facts and try to enjoy the silly meta, mmmkay?)

Trek. Late 60's. Vietnam war, hippies, civil rights movement, the space program. Progressive era, and Star Trek tried to capture the greatest of its progressive ideals: multiracial equality, women as military officers (although Trek claimed to be non-military), tech beyond the dreams of geeks, medical advances that removed most diseases from human consideration, ~~happy drugs growing wild in the fields,~~ telepathy, exotic arts and music, benevolent aliens, space ships blasting each other with laserzap weapons.

So... who were the _really_ powerful people in the Federation? To answer that, we need to look at later Treks as well.

  * The Animated Series. 
  * The Motion Picture. (Followed by: Two-Khan, Three-Spock, Four-Whales) 
  * Next Gen. 
  * Two more Motion Pictures (Five-Let's Obliviate Ourselves and Never Speak Of This Again, and Six-Klingons). 
  * Deep Space Nine. 
  * More Motion Pictures (which no longer have numbers because we want people who weren't born when the first one was made to go see them anyway). 
  * Voyager. 
  * Enterprise. (The prequel. Still relevant.) 



Worth noting: I've never seen any of the non-numbered Trek movies, nor more than a few minutes of Enterprise here & there. Doesn't matter. I've seen enough to know what the shows have in common, and who pulls the strings.

I speak, of course, of velour and spandex, of miniskirts and boots, of gold and red and blue. The most infuential (and therefore powerful) guild in the Trek universe are the uniform designers.

Every three years or so, the entire Federation changes its military uniform styles. All of them. Everything from ensign to admiral goes through a complete re-design, and all the old uniforms are dumped into replicators and transformed into whatever combination of ribbed necklines and pocketless pants are trendy this season. These changes reach the far edges of Federation space, apparently instantly--we don't know what combination of subspace waves and telepathic boosters the Makeover Guild has put together, but even outposts that have been isolated for decades have received the new uniform designs.

And NOBODY is ever out of uniform on a Federation ship or base. Other than Bajoran earrings, and perhaps nearly-invisible wedding rings, no personal adornments are allowed. Certainly, nobody wears head scarves, tiaras, turbans, bejeweled belts indicating warrior prowess, nor three pounds of golden bling as trophies of their sexual prowess. Amazing that dozens (hundreds?) of planetary civilization manage to agree on what "modest attire" is... one wonders what kind of mind-control or emotion-twisting filaments are embedded in the gold rickrack on the sleeves. Planets where men wear robes, where women wear corsets and gauzy veils, where everyone wears huge, bulky jackets--all set aside the clothing of their childhood to wear skintight longsleeved shirts and pants (unless skirts have been decreed for women this year), trusting that the climate control on all Federation stations and starships is similar enough to make them comfortable.

Conveniently, all the Federation races [can wear the same kind of shoes](http://www.songworm.com/lyrics/songworm-parody/MutantGenerations.html); bumps-on-the-forehead aliens don't have inconvenient protrusions in other areas of their anatomy. At least, nothing that would prevent the human-designed uniforms from fitting. (The petals, however interesting, don't affect the uniform.)

So the next time you watch Trek, watch the uniforms. Ask yourself, "could I design clothing like that?" and "does it pay in cash, or just hidden power?" And also, "which high-profile politico annoyed someone in the ~~costumer's~~ designer's guild, so that they designed an entire sequence of outfits that are unflattering to him or her?"

(crossposted to [](http://www.insanejournal.com/users/metametameta/profile)[**metametameta**](http://www.insanejournal.com/users/metametameta/) ; sorry for those who see it twice.)

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted at <http://elf.dreamwidth.org/530375.html> where there are comments.


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